Mal-Mal

C-STONE OR BUST!

2002-06-23T09:03:43Z

cornerstone... a monumental experience for any person who has any want for God and music! i'm so excited... more than excited.. i'm elated! i just can not believe it's here already. 10 days! WOOT WOOT! ash and i are going on wednesday, and jen and i on thursday. there are no words to describe the mood i'm iN!! so stoked... BUT there isnt alot for me to write, atleast about that...

long story short...met a guy named chris who turns out to be my dream guy, but not after i found out he was the lead singer for an amazing band from carlinville, WELL, he wants a girl i know and now i'm upset but i want him to be happy so i gave him her number and now he wont shut up about her... ugh, but oh well right? i mean, if it's meant to be, it'll happen.. BUT WHO WANTS A FAT ASS FOR A GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!?! hmpf...

lets see... i want a punk boyfriend though. why?!?! haha, because they are perfect... uck.

i think i want to sleep now...
hasta

Hold me closer Tiny Dancer

2002-04-09T03:49:12Z

I am in love with this song. It's amazing. Tiny Dancer by elton john. I've known it for as long as i can remember, but right now, i cant get enough of it. It makes me cry really.

I've had a pretty good day, but the past 30 minutes have been horrible. my father, whom i havent seen in about 4 days, came home tonight high and drunk, talked to me about how proud he was of me and crap like that. It really makes me think, despite how much i love him.. i really can not stand the guy. it's a horrible thing to say, but it's so true, I cant handle it when he's around like he was tonight. he's not able to be around us for too long and be straight, it just.. i dont know. He thinks i dont realize it, but it's so obvious to me. AAHHHHH and no one will talk to me about it. no one fucking cares.. how about that for friends

NO SLEEP TILL.....

2002-04-08T04:09:21Z

I'm so friggin tired. Jen showed up at my house this morning at about, oh, 10am.. it's not that early but i didnt get to bed untill 5am.. blag, so she and i went out for breakfast, went to walmart, and i was late for rehearsal almost. BUMMEr.. lets see, jen just informed me that chris is engaged to his psycho ex... UGH

lets see.... practice work.. no play... ugh

i'm too friggin tired to write, so i'll be gone now

Fat Girls can't wear Pink Shirts, OBVIOUSLY

2002-04-07T07:27:02Z

The same store who refused to give jen her correct change, has a new policy, 'FAT GIRLS CAN'T WEAR PINK.'

I went in to Hot Topic, Looking to buy alot of pink, BUT NO. The only pink shirt i wanted, was a friggin YOUTHLARGE... BULL CRAP! I'm not gunna even work on that one.. Heh

But all was well... I got laces and socks, both pink.. It's all good. Bought a book. "Bad Girls Guide To getting What You Want" It's rad as all get out.. really funny.

Jen had a bit of a Fiasco, She was shorted a dollar... She bought a $4.99 cd, and was charged for a $5.99 cd.. It was crazy, so she ran down the up escalator, yes its possible, and trued to get it back, but the gate was down.. Commie bastards.. so she is one dollar poorer than she should be, and not a happy camper.

But on a lighter note, the guy who jen begged for her money from in Hot Topic was cute.. :)

Farts are funny. No matter what anyone says, at any age, they are friggin Hilarious.
Jen is THE fart QUEEN.. for real.. she kicked my butt hardcore. Not to mention, cinged nose hairs...ugh

but tonight in the mall, she let one go.. and it was so funny only cause of her friggin laugh.. ti's a damn marge simpson/hyena thing. greatest you'll ever hear. Gets me going everytime..

I was sitting in a picture portrait booth thing in the mall, with the curtain closed, doing a chinese whore voice.. well, i did my , "oh big boy......" thing... well, at any moment, a voice would come on and say some random thing... SOOO FUNNY... I did my, "OH BIG BOY, YES.." thing.. right then, the voice,"That's great.."

maybe it was just funny to us then, but MAN it was great.

Damn, do you really want to read all of this????? NOOOOOOOO

i'm going to stop and sit alone for another hour, just so i can have my 'mallory time' before bed... take taht however you want, PERVE!

Night

AND THIS ONE TIME, AT BAND CAMP....

2001-08-20T22:05:40Z

today started the begining of a new era.. so to speak

band camp... one week feared by most freshman, and resented by others... one week filled with drills, music, new people and, this year... a new director... Mr. Swaar... or, as i call him so effectionately, mr Gwaar... is a true director.. kinda like Z from junior high.. he's really a great guy with us.. cant wait to start the year..

i have a sore on my tounge... it hurts.. it sucks.. *sniffle

i blew out my tire yesterday in the wallgreens parkinglot on sangamon ave. in springfield.. yeah, THAT SUX... i was lookin at this guy in the car next to us... heh, i like, turned my head for a second... and BAM! yeah, it sucked ALOT... but i laughed.. nearly killed deborah though... she's such a bitch sometimes... drives me insane.. so retarded and obnoxious... grrrrrrr...

i got sunburnt today.. kinda hurts..

ANTI-BLUE!!! Rad band.. awesome.. a few go to LCC, VERY RAD!!!!! justin, laurence, mike and... uhm.. this other guy who's name i know not... but *sigh... justin and laurence are soooooo dreamy! lol, justin is super cute.. (that was my teeny bopper moment) laurence... man, in a band, with a guitar and sings... what more need i say?

question.. is it bad to laugh when you see someone fall off a tall structure.. say, 4 feet high?? where's the humor? I'LL TELL YA WHERE... right there on the ground... the little person there, YEAH, that's the one! LAUGH! *hahaha*

man, i feel like such a dork right now.. like, i am.. HEH, YYYYYYEAH

dad got a new car... it's a stick.. i wanna drive it.. :)

my feet hurt...

i'd give you my life, if you'd give me yours. somehow...

2001-08-09T05:28:27Z

I have no honest real reason to be as upset as i am right now... i had a pretty good night untill i talked to my mom, and whatever... she and i started to fight on the phone... but it's like, i dunno... yesterday, she and i went at it hardcore and the night ended with me at jessica's... but she had stormed out of the house earlier, my mom that is, and went nam... she freaked out adn left.. without a word of anything... she got in her car adn left... just like she did every time her and my dad would fight. she'd run away.. and blame us for it all... i figured out where dad and i are moving to.. it's on broadway street.. dont know who we're living with.. but i know it's another po-po.. that's all i know...

right now, i'm just kinda waiting for the night to end... but without the aid of sleep... i dotn want to do that anymore... fall asleep to end a day.. i want to be able to make it through a night like this... see how things end up.. when i talk with friends on here like jen, phil, ryan... things seem to get better with every word said... so i'll just wait so i can talk to people... my bro is telling me about this towel thing on south park.. he's a funny little shit head.. i love that kid... he helps keep that level of sanity ya know... he's just there for the release.. i love him to death.

mom is going to macomb tomorrow... i think i am going to drive to tremont but i dont know if i really do want to or not... there's no reason for me not to but no real reason i should.. other than to see people i never see... i heard about this guy there i know, who i didnt along with very well but now i am... ANYWAYS, ryan, well, he and julie, adam's huge chested ex girlfriend are getting married, october 23rd 2003.. i was like, woh holy shit... ryan, and julie! who'da thunk it ya know.. but i kinda freaked.. never in a milion years would you figure.. it's so cute though.

i was talkin to my mom the other night about stuff and the topic kinda turned to having kids and getting married.. she asked me what i wanted to do about that... if i really did want kids, or get married... ant the more i thought about it.. i came to this conclusion. i want to be married and have kids more than anything in the world... if i had to choose either to have kids and be happy or be a famous singer without kids.. i would have them.. i want to be married... but then agian, i'm like.. MEN SUCK.. hahah
OH OH OH OH OH!!!

I would like to applaud jenjen for her AMAZING feight of strenght and aim tonight... let me tell you, the cups soared.. hahaha
she NAILED steven's car.. with a cup of soda... i have never laughed so hard... well, in exception to lastnight's little thing with maddy and josh.. man that was hilarious.. but yeah... JEN I LOVE YOU that made the night that much better!!!!

i dyed my hair today, i dont know how good it really looks.. i like it just for the fact that it's pink agian, but shit.. i dunno, it looks kinda weird.. but all the more reason to keep it i guess.. maddy would be proud..

josh and her are moving tomorrow, they are headed up to the great city of new york .. hoppin a bus and jetting out... it's so great... i wish so badly to be them right now... josh is living my dream to the complete fullness i would hope for.. so all my support and love go to those two.. they are incredible and deserve everything great...
HAHAHAHAHAHAh

and the night is on the ups... the cops were called downtown tonight cause steven called on jen! hHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH what a puss! oh man! that is so stupid though! what a whore... still agian jen, i love you for that... even though you took the fall...

well, it's been like an hour nearly.. not alot has happend... so time to end this crap...

It's a wonderful life...

2001-08-07T04:56:07Z

my car broke... shit.. i dotn feel good..shit shit... i messed up my knee... shit shit shit... and i have to wake up before 2 tomorrow.. fuck fuck shit fuck...

i dunno... things are getting weird now.. i dotn understand it all...

la la la la la

i want something exciting to happen this week.. just so i can write about it... i'm drained for anything at all... no topics... NOTHING... i dunno, maybe i won't make that good of a writter, maybe i'm destined to be a janitor or something like a crashtest dummy... who knows... maybe i'll become a dog catcher...

who knows.., i'm a lame-o...

ugh

2001-08-06T06:56:49Z

i'm upset... i just want to crawl into my bed and cry.. and there's nothing i can do.. nothing will make this any better... why am i so stupid

I can see!

2001-08-04T23:15:48Z

i got my new glasses today.. pretty rad.. i LOVE them, it's weird, they have a tint of green in them, but they are dark red.. very cool if you ask me... :)

but, mom and i went to bloomington to get them today.. and went to the mall... both of them, i got a new seatshirt.. it's red, mom insisted that i "expand my horizons from blue and black" to which i responded, "ok..." so i scored some clothes out of it... heh, got a new bag... it's ok. i dunno, it's weird,... but all it needs is alittle TLC, and paches... :)

hmmmm, whatelse... i think that is all... i kinda missed keri's dad's wedding.. i was hella pissed, mom wouldnt get back here in time... ARGH... pissed me off... but oh well, keri will just have to kick me in the leg...

I'M LEARNING HTML!!

2001-08-04T05:57:22Z

this is so cool!I now know how to do things with font... damn this rawks.. JEN YOU ARE A GODDESS, so to speak... oh and by the way, WHY DOES NO ONE COME AND SEE MY JOURNAL!?!?!?

Online Quizzes, BRILIANT I TELL YOU BRILIANT!

2001-08-04T05:51:56Z

My Online quiz...

Are you A Beach Babe, or Bore?

my results....

featured quizzes

quiz archive
Beachy Keen
You are the ultimate beach babe! As a matter of fact, when your friends smell coconut sun block lotion, they immediately think of you and the good times they've had with you at the beach. Like the time you escaped the clutches of an angry hermit crab. Or the time you boogie-boarded for hours until you figured out how to catch a wave like a pro.

That's 'cause you're the ultimate summer fun girl. You know what you've gotta do to avoid pitfalls (like wearing sun block). And you're always up for a good time (and not overly concerned with whether your butt looks fat in your bikini bottoms). That makes you really fun to hang out with.

HAAAAA!!
me, at the beach.. IN A SWIMSUIT!! AHAAAAAA hahahahhaa *takes a breath* HAHAHAHA

no sir, i thank you to NOT think of me in one of those!

Road trips.... What can I say...

2001-08-04T05:30:28Z

Jen and hit the road today and headed out on the wide, open highway for... *trumpet sounds* Springfield... oooooh yeah

on the way there i was attacked by a bee/beetle thingie.. almost killed us..
saw a great looking guy on a motorcycle...mmmmm

then we got to the mall, my car almost broke, again...

we went in, shot to hot topic, bought some cd's and i had a hay-day with the music, weezer.. nirvana... weezer.. nirvana... buh yah, then we went to pac sun... the guy working... singer for TIP.. pretty rad, he's hott... and has blue hair.. BUT, a steady girlfriend.. BUMMER... then, on to the toy store where we played with dolls, a monkey, a hat and boah, and kinda got scared out.. then to the car...

as i got there i noticed, MY LIGHTS HAD BEEN ON!! i freaked thinking it was gunna die.. but all was well, nothing to fear, 'cept the cadlitic(??) converter rattling... freaky shit...

so we drove home listening to The Juliana Theory, and my punk cd that i bought... buh yah..

when we got into town, we ran by the theatre to, "relieve ourselves"... AKA, go pee... and saw Josh Peele, a dude i havent talked to in like, 2 years... then we went to the fair for some fair food... mmmmm, corndogs and soda... yuuuuuummy..

i dropped jen off at her friend mary's so they could go eat more food at steak n' shake.. and i headed north to the bench.. that was interesting..
danny pumphry was there, havent seen him all summer, and he had his really cute friend mitch with him.. uuuhh huh... i was ther for awhile then drove with jeff for a bit, that was so much fun, but i forgot my keys in his van when he dropped me off.. so he brought those back.. heh, but then, my night came to a bit of a stand-still.. it was kinda boring from then on.. i came home early..

so that was my night... not to exciting but damn fun..

maybe tomorrow will be even more fun.. who knows, but will find out with time!!!

ADIOS!!

COOOOOOOOOFFEE...

2001-08-03T04:30:29Z

i've had only two cups of coffee... and i'm ready to go... weird..

phil's here.. heh, we hung out at the bench, dull... went to stake n' shake... now we're here... on my pc... heh, BORING AS SHIT i'm sure.. but oh well....

lets seeeeee.... i dont know what to type right now.. not alot happened today... phil was here, that's about it.. WOOOOOheh.. i dont know... he's still here, threatening to leave... but still, he's here.. guess he just loves me that much.. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAno... sooo, uhhh

jess dyed her hair today... red.. looks cool..

ash left me this morning at 6... bummer, so now it's like, i dunno... not as exciting as normal.. plus pat's gone... so it's just me and jen... it's cool though...

phil put friggin glue on me.. bastard... ugh
glue.... yeah

damn this sux.. i'm going to uh, stop now.. i'll write more at like... 1...

Fair time is a Fun time...

2001-08-02T06:02:55Z

Ya know, Logan county fair BITES.. i mean really.. this year more than others... amber got threatened on the first night... no one goes... it's all trashy kinda, i mean, the fair itself..

it stinks.. i wanted to the the talent show this year but i kinda wussed out... didnt wanna bother with it. maybe next year... who knows..

jen ash and i went tonight. we had some fun, not really alot but enough i guess... got come frozen coffee, a funnel cake... jen ate most of that, heh... well, not really, but more than me... she got a lemon thingie... and ash had her first ever fair corndog... can ya believe it...that girl had yet to live! haha

speakin of ash, she's gone for the next 8 days.. looks like it's just me and jen.. hmpf.. now how are we gunna practice.. heh, like we used to..

well, we went up to the square tonight, it was kinda weird. we got there, steven was on the bench with tom, and everyone else was across the street, by the payphone.. i guess steven has really been pissin everyone off... more than normal. he's been kinda harassing Laura, calling her like mad... yelling at her when she wants to hang up... then we come to find out that he is carving her initials in his arm! when she told me this i went bolistic... i was ready to burn his eyes out with a cigarett.. but then again, i know i couldnt have.. i did kinda bitch at him, i was at my car when he was leaving.. i was like, "leave laura alone, she doesnt need any of your crap, and i wont let you shit on her like you did me." he just looked at me with this half pissed off look in his eye, yet, like he was ready to cry... almost sorry... all he really said was, whatever and mumbled something while i was walking away... ya know, i really did care for him, i still do, but just cause he kinda scares me.. i dont know though, i still have a very strong dislike for the guy but still.... ugh, i dont know...

i'm bored as hell now... ugh... no clue what to do.. i wanna cook some mac and cheese but, it's like, 1am, and that's not good... what should i do... HMMMMMMMMM...

well, i'm going to stop now... maybe if something cool happens, i'll write more..

Dedicated to the one i love

2001-08-01T08:07:25Z

~*Friday Night Mistake*~

you hate yourself
for what you've done.
you swear you'll never
forgive yourself
but you hate him more and more.

cold feelings rush over your body
vomit comes up
into your throat
at the thought of him
his hands

you dream of his death
violent and cruel
but no matter what you say
you hope you hold the knife

he comes arounf
acts as your friend
as if nothing happened
but braggs on all your friends

everyone knows
there's no damn secrets.
hiding your cause
to justify yourself

but still he stands
3 feet away
you think of grabbing his balls
rip them off

but no
you can't
just log him away

to you
all he is
is another Friday Night Mistake

~Dedicated to the one I hate, You know who you are

Things that bother me..

2001-08-01T08:00:15Z

Things that bother me, piss me off, or just really urk me to no end.......

-posers... nuff said, they should be shot for attempting the impossible...

-hypocrites..

- popcorn dum dums... Why???

- people who sit at the doors in wal-mart, asking for money, even when they know you're broke..

-skinny girls who tell me how "fat" they are.. HELLO!!!!!

- cheerleaders...

- retards who tell people they are suicidal but know their not, but say they are just to get sympathy from people who hate them... hmmm

- narks..

- boy bands... everyone hates them.. why are they here...

- punks who arent really punk but look it for fashion... ie: Anarchy in the UK... FUCK THAT

-teen magazines who put the "punk-look" in with the "pop-look" in the fashion sections of the mag..

- people who hurt you, only because they know you're weak..

- My Delux Invoices... i HATE that program

- retarded chatroom nerds who only fight with words, too chicken to use fists..

- when i leave my guitar at Jen's...

- when jen's dog Runs off.. bastard..

- when you run out of things to say at the exact moment you know you need to say something, thus resulting in an awkward silence...............

-when you forget what you were...shit, what was i saying...

-when you hands get tired so you stop for a bit......................................................................................................................................................................................

-mal

What to say...

2001-08-01T07:49:40Z

I havent written on this thing in forever, this is weird... so much has been goin on.. Jen and i finally started our band... somehow, i got a cool name for it... The Friday Nite Mistakes... kinda clever... i like it alot.. it's me her and ashley.
pretty rad

uhm, things to ponder... why is it that the grass is so funny feeling when you mix it with jello... rhode island is neither a road, nor an island... DISCUSS....

went to cornerstone, had a blast, met carrie, FINALLY, had a blast, hang out at the bench.. uhm... yyyeah

it's kinda interesting how the origin of most my problems is, the bench, things would have been fine with me if Steven didnt start showing up there, now my life is hell, i hate him, and jake is in jail.. why is he so dumb.. he really is.. ugh

jen threw her slushy at him lastnight, well, his car... funny none the less... kinda wish she woulda hit him in the chest... grrrrrr

i just flicked a bug off my monitor... heh, EWWW guts

hmmm... time for a new entry

I think i broke my toe...

2001-06-26T05:16:46Z

i hit my toe REALLY hard just now on the wall... bummer... jen is actin really weird towards me.. dont get that... and i think people are gettin pissed at me again.. go figure.. but tonight i went to the mall and stuff with leena and josh.. we had fun. got the new blink cd finally, even though i dont think i wll be going to the concert anymore.. major bummer.. i dont know about things anymore... people are weird.. my life is seemin kinda the same way, but i dont know if that is bad... hmmmm right right

WHOOP WHOOP

2001-06-20T01:20:51Z

ya know what... DO YA!?!?!?!

neither do i... maybe we should reflect on this for a few days... yeah, thought so..
ass

atari_star @ 2001-06-18T00:26:00

2001-06-18T05:31:01Z

i'm such a dork, jen is fixing the wonderful colors on this diary thing for me... i suck. heh, NOT REALLY,,, ANYWAYS, yeah. tonight was hella fun, we were all at the bench alllll night. it was great. we had a friggin blast. got all hott and sweaty runnin around.. acting like a moron. then jen saw this really hot guy, he eventually stopped.. she so wants him. he's hott, i gotta give her that! she knows how to pick em! *coughs WAYNE* hahahahahaa, joke joke. that is one funny story.. but anyways, we sat around for awhile and told jokes, watched the guys pole dance...now that is good entertainment! buh yah! lets see, people that were there... me, jen, ash, jerod, brian, wu, matt, tom, and justin.. great group.. OH and samantha.. she's cool.. everyone there is cool, we seem to always have fun. no matter waht really.. but man it was nasty hott tonight.. oh well... it's ok for me.. heh, yeah.. i really want to go see my sister's new house soon but uh, i dont think that'll happen anytime within the near future.. OH blink concert man, i cant wait.. 9th row, tom, mark and travis, RIGHT THERE MAN! oh yah! "I'm FUCKIN IN THE MOOD!!! TO PARTY!!!" oh yeah.. creamfest

lets see, what else... jerod and i are gettin along.. good shit, i'm glad... but the thing is, i want his friend..lol.. it's sad

ra ra ra.. shish boom bahh... i think my bro is watchin porn... damn him... he better not jizz in there! EWWW

jen is still workin on my page... i dont now if this is gunna work~! heh, homo lookin eventually.. i'm sure! or nothin at all!!

i have to work tomorrow.. blagh, not fun.. not dull though so it's ok.. i might go bother brian in the afternoon, he works right down the road from me, it's cool...

well, i'm off to bed now...

atari_star @ 2001-06-16T01:16:00

2001-06-16T06:20:03Z

my dad just started talkin to me.. for the first time in awhile.. weird..but i have a HUGE bug bite on my arm... owie... it sux... BLAAHH!! damn the man, SAVE THE EMPIRE...or something... gawd... i wanna takl to someone.. but no one is online.. hmph.. need help.. must, i dont know.. well now.. sleep, run, sleep... eat..NNOOO...call leena's house..naah, call jen jen.. can't can't... go to bed... sounds good... i think i might do that... i wanna see daniel... bummer... yeah yeah

I really don't know anymore...

2001-06-16T06:13:49Z

Ever have those days where nothing seems to make sense, yet you know that they are all leading up to that lesson that you need to learn? gawd, TODAY WAS ONE! like, i hit someone's car... fell head over heals again, and just let it slip... broke my knee(or so it feels) in the car thing..i have HUGE zit.. haha, it hurts.. and my former bff was hangin all over my former bf.. thigns were shit... but daniel....

daniel and i met through leena back in february i think it was... it was weird at first but we just kinda clicked.. and from then on, we talked alot and i just fell head over heals for him.. well, i cant say anything about it really cause of leena, and i know that sounds pathetic... but it's hard.. and daniel and i are good friends, nothing more would come out of that i'm sure... no matter how much i wish... but to see him tonight did me much good.. i was so happy... i wanted to cry when we said goodbye.. cause i really dont know when i'll see him again... soon i hope...

then the car thing... heh, no..nothign about that.. but my knee hurts like a bitch

i dont feel so hott, ate something wrong.. or something

tomorrow, i'm supposed to go with jerod to bloomington, things are gunna be weird.. hope it all turns out alright.. i dont want things to be bad anymore.. it hurts alot to hear shit.. and to know he is mad at me, even though he has every right to be... it's just, i dont know.. i really really dont..

now i'm talkin to my friend chris, havent done that in a long time... wierd...

I am a bad person..

2001-06-13T05:13:13Z

i was just upset... heh, forget that